Emotional Resilience, self relationship, self awarness and acceptance

Emotional Resilience is one of the buzz words of the year, even Gordon Brown has been referred to as having “emotional resilience” Before we start, what do we really mean by “emotional resilience and how is it broken down? 

Last week I talked very briefly about the key things you can do to build your emotional resilience. Physical exercise , food and rest, having the right mindset and ability to create a positive vision and giving to others, empathy and connection. Over the coming months I hope to share in more detail how you can build your personal resilience over time. 

Today I wanted to share a few more things you can do to build your emotional resilience, building your own self relationship, self awareness and acceptance. 

Self Relationship

 This is probably one of the toughest to crack as most of us are typically overly critical of ourselves, and unkind. This takes its form in critical self talk, not giving ourselves what we need (sleep, rest, recreation etc) and at an extreme not even liking ourselves. I often say to people would you treat your best friend the way you treat yourself?

 Remember the old saying “you can’t love others unless you love yourself” and this is true. Without a good relationship with yourself it is tough to have good relationships with others.

 Self Awareness – Getting to know yourself… 

Firstly you have to have self awareness to know where you are, where your strengths are, why you respond the way you do. Hold a mirror up to yourself and ask yourself useful questions about your own strengths and what your good at. Look at how you can use your strengths to build upon what and how you do things.

 Do you see yourself as others do? Do they see you in a more positive light? For me this is getting the focus right and in the right place. How many people have you met that are unconfident and you know and can see they are capable of so much and have every reason to be full of confidence. If only we were able to see ourselves with the unique strengths that we have.

Acceptance

We have to develop appreciation and respect of ourselves, we need to accept ourselves for what we are and learn to love the foibles rather than disliking them. Give yourself a break when you make a mistake and stop beating yourself up for stuff that doesn’t go that well. Accept that as human beings we can’t be perfect and those that make no mistakes learn nothing. Focus on your strengths rather than what your not good at. There is a wealth of research in the area of building on strengths and the benefits and results this can give.

 We are what we are, learn to understand and engage in what your good at, focus on it and start treating yourself with the respect and kindness you deserve.

 Next week I will share how to make a change & creating an individual and work plan to pull through these changes..